I think I might have mentioned before that it seemes like when you are preggo with your first, you magically somehow acquire this sign that says "Please, tell me your opinion or experience about _______ ". Okay, to be fair, some people have had some great things to say. Others I feel like asking how they ever came to have kids in the first place.
One of the things I hear often is how after you have a baby, you become the being of constant "busy-ness". I updated my Facebook post to mention how I was having a weird Saturday in which I was kinda bored. As I was writing it, I thought, "I'm going to have a whole bunch of people respond with ..."enjoy it, because it won't last". And sure enough - guess what responses I got?
I got it. Really, I do. I understand that babies are A LOT of work. And you may think "she doesn't have a clue because she's never had one".
So here's my novel thought for the weekend. Unlike most of the people who seem to think I am going to slam into this wall of God only knows what when the baby is born, I am going to give myself the benefit of the doubt. I think I am more prepared for this kid than people give me credit for. And here is why.
Since moving to Tri-Cities, my life has never, never, revolved around working an 8 hour day, and coming home to veg on the couch. For nearly the entire six years I have lived here, I have worked at least two, and sometimes three jobs. In six years, I have worked to "better" myself through my work, my marriage, and my other relationships, and I think I have worked damn hard. For the last 2 years I have dealt with the Hanford commute from hell (becaused it bettered my work and my financial situation), obtained a Masters degree online (because it bettered me), and kept up teaching 2-3 classes at the week at the gym (because it bettered me, and it betters a whole lot of other people). I'm not naturally lazy - I live to work, and work hard. Working hard is not something I feel I have to work at (anymore). It comes naturally.
In the last six years I lost 20 lbs (and kept it off), taught myself how to kayak, became an avid cyclist, completed a half marathon, a couple triathlons - and got Sherman to go back to the gym.
Want to talk about sleep depervation? Okay, lets. Anyone who knows me know I have struggled with my sleep since my freshman year of college. I won't go so far as to say I'm an insomniac, but I am no stranger to the 3 or 4 hour sleep regimin.
I don't have all the answers. But when I think about the things that scare me about having a baby, really, it's not the amount of work involved. I'm conditioned for that. Come September I expect to work just as hard as I do now - just at different things. What scares me is trying to figure out how to balance. How to balance nuturing a new life, while still nuturing my own life, while still nuturing my husbands. How to balance not being able to be selfish with my time because this new little one will demand a lot of it. I know I want to give the best life possible for my child, and I will because that is what I am setting out to do. There will be experiments along the way to find out what works best for the both of us (well, all three of us) but for the remainder of my pregnancy, I resolve to be as confident about having this baby, as I have been with so many other things. I resolve to not let other peoples "warnings" and "cautions" fill my head with fears that September will bring something other than a new, exciting experience, and challenge. Bring on the work - I really do think I am ready for it.
From my experience over these last 6 years, I have faced many challenges, and through them all, I have finished, and for the most part, to my standards, been successful. It hasn't always been pretty or graceful, and I sure as hell won't say there isn't room for improvement along the way, but so far, it's all been good. And I have to believe that having this baby will be no different.
