Distracted

Things with work are still in limbo. Information changes daily. At the beginning of the week I got a call that I was going to be picked up by the "new company" (which is good) but now today we got confirmation that the project I work for will be shut down in the next four months. Great. So as of right now I still don't have any idea what my employment looks like.

I think the stress of not knowing is finally starting to really get to me. I went out for a run tonight and once again, it just sucked. The weather is beyond gorgeous right now, and everytime I go out my body just protests. I mean, geez, tonight about half way through my (so-long) four miles I got a cramp. Not a side cramp, not a leg cramp, but a cramp in my back, right behind my left shoulder blade. I didn't even know you could cramp there.

I am just a little tired of everything right now. I feel very unsettled and its making me cranky. I am back to my usual state of feeling like I am fighting my weight and my trips into the gym have been less than stellar all around. I am back in class, but its hard to get focused when I am constantly asking whether or not this class is going to make any difference if I can't finish the program.

During my run I thought quite a bit about the blogs I follow (don't ask my why). I follow this one because I want to be like her.

http://amateurtrigirl.blogspot.com/

I just think if she can do it, so can I. I just wish I had the time to dedicate to the training the she apparently does.

I follow a lot of blogs that deal with weight loss. I like these because they seem to be incredibly insightful.

http://www.dietgirl.org/ and http://iamthatgirlnow.blogspot.com/ (on this second one, it looks as if she is no longer posting, but if you have a mintue, she has a ton of writing on her page and some of it is incredible).

I have several blogs of friends I follow just to keep up on their lives (much the point of this blog). But then I follow this one to just remind myself of how lucky I am.

http://sccsdecker.blogspot.com/

I have so much in my life. I have my health, I have a husband, I have friends. Which is why I don't understand why I let this job thing bug me so much. In the grand scheme of things, its just not that important.

I can say it. But deep down, for some reason, I don't believe it.