Well, looking at my calendar, yesterday marked my 17th week mark. All in all, things are not bad. So far I have no stretch marks, I've only gained about 7 pounds, and can still fit into most of my clothes. I can't say it's been all enjoyable, but I guess it could be a whole heck of a lot worse.
I am learning a lot though. Like for one, when you get pregnant..you suddenly lose your identity and just kind of become a walking incubator. Now, this isn't everyone, but it's amazing the amount of people that will simply open up conversation with "how's the baby?" to which I give some reply along the lines of "5 ounces and hungry". I know they mean well, but it's just something I've learned.
Now that I am essentially done with school (just have edits on the thesis left to do) I'm hoping I can take some time to I guess "bond" with the being inside of me. Time to get as giddy about being pregnant as so many of my friends and family are about me being preggo. I guess it stems from body issues I have always had about myself, but getting bigger is just not something I'm embracing. I'm dealing with it, but I'm not embracing it. I don't feel warmth and excitement when people comment about my cute "bump" and I don't feel the need to photograph it...it's there..it's serving a purpose...and I anxiously await the time when I'm not sharing my body...it's back to being mine...to do with what I please. I realize that is an incredibly selfish thing to say for a first time expectant mother...but that's kind of how I feel right now. It's not that I'm not happy to be having a baby...but I'm just learning how to be accepting of the process of making one, and forgiving of my shortcomings, external and internal, while getting there.
Like I said, I'm learning.
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