Thursday, June 5, 2008

Life is so good right now I can hardly stand it

I like the fact I can change the colors of my blog. I may do it often.

So right now I am sitting at my new computer, listening to a great cd, drinking a glass of wine, and listening to my otherwise quiet house.

::Hold on, gotta go get a refill::

Ok then. My house is quiet because the husband is out of town and the dog and cat don't make much noise. When the DH is gone, I don't ever turn on the television (with the exception of tomorrow night when I watch my Netflix movie 27 Dresses - oh ya, baby its a girl night).

I swear, I would probably be perfectly content with just the minimal of what I would need to watch the occasional movie and never any television. But I digress.

I don't know at what point it was in my relationship that I started really looking forward to nights by myself. Last night the DH tells me that he is sad I won't be joining him this weekend. My first reaction was of course "ahh...thats sweet". But not too far behind that was "I am so looking forward to this time by myself..so I'm really not that sad to not be going" (I didn't tell him that, but I am pretty sure he knows anyway).

I came home, made a nice healthy dinner of blue hake fish, some white rice (leftover) and spinich (and of course wine) and have been having such a nice night. Its too bad I have to go work tomorrow or this night would be absolutley perfect. I guess to a degree I think (or, I hope?) this is a sign of a healthy marriage. I can enjoy my time around him (though I wish we did more quality activities together) but when he is gone I dont' have to sit at home missing and pining away.

In other news, I officially have 10 days left before I start school. Which brings me to the re-occuring question I have as to how long I will be able to keep the gym up and do class. One of the other instructors at the gym quit this week and while I was sorry to see her go, I was a bit envious. The gym thing is difficult for me, and I think it will only continue to get more difficult. I really want to quit, but nights like tonight make it so hard to actually walk away.

I had a pretty full class tonight. And it was one of those classes where everyone was "there". I didn't feel like I had to do much motiviating and eventhough I was super sore and tired from 4 straight days of working out, when all was said and done, I was still 700 calories lighter and drenched with sweat. That does not come from self-motivation. It comes from the energy I get back from the members who are obviously digging my coaching (hmm...maybe they are just digging the music and are actually tuning me out all together).

(note to self: gotta take the litter box out of the office because listening to the cat pee is ruining my serene moment.)

Anyway, then there are my regulars who tell me how much they love me. I love that, but there is such a huge part of me that just wants to be a participant. I just want to work out and not have to think. Ahh, but maybe that is just laziness. Who knows, I don't want to think about it.

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