Well, looking at my calendar, yesterday marked my 17th week mark. All in all, things are not bad. So far I have no stretch marks, I've only gained about 7 pounds, and can still fit into most of my clothes. I can't say it's been all enjoyable, but I guess it could be a whole heck of a lot worse.
I am learning a lot though. Like for one, when you get pregnant..you suddenly lose your identity and just kind of become a walking incubator. Now, this isn't everyone, but it's amazing the amount of people that will simply open up conversation with "how's the baby?" to which I give some reply along the lines of "5 ounces and hungry". I know they mean well, but it's just something I've learned.
Now that I am essentially done with school (just have edits on the thesis left to do) I'm hoping I can take some time to I guess "bond" with the being inside of me. Time to get as giddy about being pregnant as so many of my friends and family are about me being preggo. I guess it stems from body issues I have always had about myself, but getting bigger is just not something I'm embracing. I'm dealing with it, but I'm not embracing it. I don't feel warmth and excitement when people comment about my cute "bump" and I don't feel the need to photograph it...it's there..it's serving a purpose...and I anxiously await the time when I'm not sharing my body...it's back to being mine...to do with what I please. I realize that is an incredibly selfish thing to say for a first time expectant mother...but that's kind of how I feel right now. It's not that I'm not happy to be having a baby...but I'm just learning how to be accepting of the process of making one, and forgiving of my shortcomings, external and internal, while getting there.
Like I said, I'm learning.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Thursday, March 25, 2010
A time to blog
It's time I get off my lazy duff and update this blog. A lot has happened since I last blogged, and it's time I turn this blog from what was an avenue for me to perform some self reflection and more of, well, "Fallon's Pregnancy Blog". Not that that won't include some self reflection...but it's got to be more interesting that what I have been writing about.
So yes, the news is out - we're pregnant, expecting in September. It's been an interesting ride so far. Not without bumps along the way, but all in all, I can't complain. The sacrifices for the child have already started. Material sacrifices such as the sale of my kayak (a testament to the realization that I have to pare down my hobbies), and recreation sacrificies in the form of taking leave from teaching at the gym. Anyone who knows me even remotley well knows my love and passion for teaching at the gym. Well, after an especially nasty week of trying to teach through feeling like crap, I just decided I needed one less stressor in my life. I love the gym, but I love the gym when I feel good. And honestly, I have had two years of working at the gym, working at Hanford, and going to school, and I am just ready to have a selfish, commitment less summer. So far, it's been the best decision I have made. I love going to class and not having to think about anyone else but myself. I know that soon those good feelings will wane, and I will probably want to be back teaching again, but right now, I'm loving it.
Part of that commitment less summer is not only getting rid of the gym, but also getting rid of school. As of the end of April, I will have also accomplished that goal. I got my research done, and am in the deep throws of writing this thesis. So far, it's going well, and I have a pretty clear picture of what I need to do to get it finished. So I have probably another 15-20 hours of dedicated work, and I should be done. Graduation announcements have arrived, and I will be picking up my academic attire for graduation soon!
So, there is the quick synopsis of my life currently. In the coming months I am sure I will come here to share my thoughts on pregnancy, my fears of giving birth, my questions about being a parent....so on and so forth. Hope to see some of you along the way! :)
So yes, the news is out - we're pregnant, expecting in September. It's been an interesting ride so far. Not without bumps along the way, but all in all, I can't complain. The sacrifices for the child have already started. Material sacrifices such as the sale of my kayak (a testament to the realization that I have to pare down my hobbies), and recreation sacrificies in the form of taking leave from teaching at the gym. Anyone who knows me even remotley well knows my love and passion for teaching at the gym. Well, after an especially nasty week of trying to teach through feeling like crap, I just decided I needed one less stressor in my life. I love the gym, but I love the gym when I feel good. And honestly, I have had two years of working at the gym, working at Hanford, and going to school, and I am just ready to have a selfish, commitment less summer. So far, it's been the best decision I have made. I love going to class and not having to think about anyone else but myself. I know that soon those good feelings will wane, and I will probably want to be back teaching again, but right now, I'm loving it.
Part of that commitment less summer is not only getting rid of the gym, but also getting rid of school. As of the end of April, I will have also accomplished that goal. I got my research done, and am in the deep throws of writing this thesis. So far, it's going well, and I have a pretty clear picture of what I need to do to get it finished. So I have probably another 15-20 hours of dedicated work, and I should be done. Graduation announcements have arrived, and I will be picking up my academic attire for graduation soon!
So, there is the quick synopsis of my life currently. In the coming months I am sure I will come here to share my thoughts on pregnancy, my fears of giving birth, my questions about being a parent....so on and so forth. Hope to see some of you along the way! :)
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Wow...I can't believe it's almost March!
This year has flown by. And right now, I'm okay with that. The last few months I have been caught up in significatn thesis writing, which takes up a bit of the time I don't spend working, traveling to and from work, or at the gym. I am so excited to be done with this little project and this chapter in my life. Right now I am struggling a big through with trying to determine if I am actually going to be able to pull off the actual research component I had planned. I should have known better than to think I could pull off a research activity at my work without running into approval wall after approval wall. I think in the end I will be okay...but the next couple weeks will prove to be interesting.
In the months to come, this blog will take on a new look, and new purpose, a new role. I will be a better poster, and will hopefully write things people find interesting to read about. More details on that later....
In the months to come, this blog will take on a new look, and new purpose, a new role. I will be a better poster, and will hopefully write things people find interesting to read about. More details on that later....
Friday, January 8, 2010
Winding back up...
My friends have been giving me grief about having a blog and never writing on it. Yes - you all are right. But the sad fact of the matter is, sometimes I just get tired of sitting at a computer. But since life is about to get crazy again, I figure I ought to get a post in before I no longer have the time to.
Today is really kind of my last day of freedom before starting my thesis next week. I have really enjoyed not having school for the last 3 weeks or so, but the whole time I have had this thesis looming over my head like the dark cloud that it is. I am really ready to be done. I guess I wouldn't fear this thing so much if I felt like I had a good direction going into it. As it is, I get to somehow confine myself to my house all day tomorrow to do research in an attempt to have a proposal ready before class starts.
Okay - I have the next 4 months to whine about this thesis. Enough of that for now.
Christmas was wonderful this year. The whole family had a very nice time together and as always, the time was so great and so short. New Year's has come - and I suppose the only resolution I can think of is resolving to NOT add anything more to my plate. We shall see how that works out.
All in all, 2009 was a great year. I am probably the healthiest I have every been, even considering my school loan, the most financially secure I have ever been, my marriage is good, my parents are healthy, and I really couldn't ask for more. In 2010 I want to see my friends more, bike more, and save more money. School prevented me from doing most of that, but I know that is a venture that will eventually pay off (keyword here being "eventually").
Well, I should go now and take care of some of the 20,000 things sitting on my "to do" list. If you don't see another post for a while - be paitent. I promise to keep up this blog, even if it's just every so often.
Thank you all for your love and support throughout the years. It means a lot. :)
Today is really kind of my last day of freedom before starting my thesis next week. I have really enjoyed not having school for the last 3 weeks or so, but the whole time I have had this thesis looming over my head like the dark cloud that it is. I am really ready to be done. I guess I wouldn't fear this thing so much if I felt like I had a good direction going into it. As it is, I get to somehow confine myself to my house all day tomorrow to do research in an attempt to have a proposal ready before class starts.
Okay - I have the next 4 months to whine about this thesis. Enough of that for now.
Christmas was wonderful this year. The whole family had a very nice time together and as always, the time was so great and so short. New Year's has come - and I suppose the only resolution I can think of is resolving to NOT add anything more to my plate. We shall see how that works out.
All in all, 2009 was a great year. I am probably the healthiest I have every been, even considering my school loan, the most financially secure I have ever been, my marriage is good, my parents are healthy, and I really couldn't ask for more. In 2010 I want to see my friends more, bike more, and save more money. School prevented me from doing most of that, but I know that is a venture that will eventually pay off (keyword here being "eventually").
Well, I should go now and take care of some of the 20,000 things sitting on my "to do" list. If you don't see another post for a while - be paitent. I promise to keep up this blog, even if it's just every so often.
Thank you all for your love and support throughout the years. It means a lot. :)
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
coming back down...
October was an especially crazy month. Stupid crazy. But it's done and I survived. I took my first "B" (albeit a B+) in my coursework, but I'm honestly okay with that. The class was challenging, and if I had not been taking another class co-currently I probably could have done better - but who really cares?
It's getting close to Thanksgiving. Close to Christmas...close to the end of the year. Some events of this week have brought me to look back on '09 and evaluate. While there were moments, all in all, I can say it's been a good year. I have worked hard to get where I'm at, and I am proud of the things I have accomplished. I've set goals, and accomplished some, and still working on others.
As 2009 rounds out I can now say I have lived in this town for over 6 years. In those six years I found love, what I hope to be a career, and several passions along the way. I've learned a lot about myself, and I've learned a lot about other people, and my relationships with them. I have some great relationships. Some I get to experience everyday, and some I get to experience only on occasion. I'm very appreciative for all my relationships. Some I get to enjoy and embrace, some I get to learn and grow from. Some grow stronger every day, and others wilt and fade away. Whatever the state of the relationship, it's been a blessing.
To all my friends - currently and in the past - thank you for your blessings.
It's getting close to Thanksgiving. Close to Christmas...close to the end of the year. Some events of this week have brought me to look back on '09 and evaluate. While there were moments, all in all, I can say it's been a good year. I have worked hard to get where I'm at, and I am proud of the things I have accomplished. I've set goals, and accomplished some, and still working on others.
As 2009 rounds out I can now say I have lived in this town for over 6 years. In those six years I found love, what I hope to be a career, and several passions along the way. I've learned a lot about myself, and I've learned a lot about other people, and my relationships with them. I have some great relationships. Some I get to experience everyday, and some I get to experience only on occasion. I'm very appreciative for all my relationships. Some I get to enjoy and embrace, some I get to learn and grow from. Some grow stronger every day, and others wilt and fade away. Whatever the state of the relationship, it's been a blessing.
To all my friends - currently and in the past - thank you for your blessings.
Friday, October 2, 2009
No time
I've been a super lousy poster lately. Trust me when I say my facebook page has not been much better. It's just that in the last 5 weeks or so, my life has exploded into a form of craziness that I cannot quite describe. Simply put, I have way way too much stuff going on right now. Work has been especially busy with dealines approaching for required trainings, pressure from bosses to get things caught up, drama with people (those close to me know way too much about that subject) and the list goes on. Realistically, I should be working some serious OT, but the fact of the matter is, I can't. I am also trying to get 2 classes done right now for school, and that eats up a lot of my spare time. I really don't know what I was thinking taking these two classes this session (scratch that, I know what I was thinking....I WANT TO BE DONE) but I have survived 5 weeks of the maddess of that, and so I only have 3 to go, and then go ahead and tack on increased gym drama combined with trying to memorize new chorey for launch...and I'm officially burned out.
I'm trying to manage everything the best I can, which doesn't exactly mean sitting here and writin on my blog, but I had to break from writing a paper. So anyway, to any of my friends who feel neglected...don't. And I wish I had something more interesting to put here...but the only thoughts running through my head right now pertain to writing my paper on the movie "12 Angry Men". Laters.
I'm trying to manage everything the best I can, which doesn't exactly mean sitting here and writin on my blog, but I had to break from writing a paper. So anyway, to any of my friends who feel neglected...don't. And I wish I had something more interesting to put here...but the only thoughts running through my head right now pertain to writing my paper on the movie "12 Angry Men". Laters.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
My 10 year high school reunion
Friday night I traveled back to Yakima for a night of reconnection with people I spent a great deal of time with 10 years ago. The husband did not attend with me, which was fine, and all in all, it was a good night.
High school for me was the epitome of awkward. I was a completly different person then. Hard to believe, but I was much more opinionated, and frankly, bitchy, then I am now. I was excited to "show" people the person I have become.
But the night came around, and I really didn't conversate with those people who I wanted to show up. It was like the same high school cliques 10 years later. Now, that might sound a bit harsh, but I mainly spent the night with the same group of people I was friends with 10 years ago. It was really nice to reconnect with them, and it made me miss them.
There was a part of me that didn't want to go. That part of me that remembers how I felt in high school. Intimidated, trying to fit in with people who were prettier, smarter, more athletic, more funny, and all around, just better people (or at least I thought at the time). I didn't need another night of trying to feel equal to those people. It was really funny to see how 10 years changed people though. Not so much physically, but humanly. 10 years later, we were all working adults, some with kids, some married, but adults. Those people who treated me like absolute crap in high school wanted to know how I was, what I was doing, if I was married....and some of those people I didn't even remembe their names. What does that say about me?
But at the end of the night, I had a really good time reconnecting with the friends that mattered the most - and enjoyed seeing the different paths people have taken over the past 10 years. Wonder what the next 10 will bring.
High school for me was the epitome of awkward. I was a completly different person then. Hard to believe, but I was much more opinionated, and frankly, bitchy, then I am now. I was excited to "show" people the person I have become.
But the night came around, and I really didn't conversate with those people who I wanted to show up. It was like the same high school cliques 10 years later. Now, that might sound a bit harsh, but I mainly spent the night with the same group of people I was friends with 10 years ago. It was really nice to reconnect with them, and it made me miss them.
There was a part of me that didn't want to go. That part of me that remembers how I felt in high school. Intimidated, trying to fit in with people who were prettier, smarter, more athletic, more funny, and all around, just better people (or at least I thought at the time). I didn't need another night of trying to feel equal to those people. It was really funny to see how 10 years changed people though. Not so much physically, but humanly. 10 years later, we were all working adults, some with kids, some married, but adults. Those people who treated me like absolute crap in high school wanted to know how I was, what I was doing, if I was married....and some of those people I didn't even remembe their names. What does that say about me?
But at the end of the night, I had a really good time reconnecting with the friends that mattered the most - and enjoyed seeing the different paths people have taken over the past 10 years. Wonder what the next 10 will bring.
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